Testing The Boundaries

Posted on March 15, 2012 by James

We are going through the stage with our little one where the answer to every question is a resounding “No.” She has discovered her own power in this little word and is riding it for all it is worth.

Of course I know that she doesn’t really mean “no” to most of the questions. She is testing the boundaries and just wants to see what happens when she says it.

“Daddy eat” she says.
“Oh, would you like some lunch?”
“No.”
“Daddy drink.”
“Would you like a drink?”
“No.”
“Daddy poo.”
“Have you done a poo?”
“No.”
“Then what is that brown thing in your nappy?”
“No poo.”
“OK then.”
…..and on and on and on.

The only things she says “yes” to are “Do you want to go to the park?” or “Would you like a cookie (or cake)?”  I have even tried to incorporate two questions in one using one of the “yes” questions with a “no” question (are you confused yet?).

“Would you like to have lunch and then go to the park?”
“Park, yes park.”
“OK then let’s have some lunch.”
“No no no no….park!”
She then goes on about the park so much that I have to take her there regardless as to whether or not she has had any lunch so that is not working out for me very well at all.

I have also tried using things that I know she likes to get the appropriate response.

“How about we have some cheese for lunch today?”(she loves cheese)
“Cheese, cheese, cheese…!”
“OK let’s have some cheese.”
“No.”
“What, no cheese?”
“No.”
“Hmmnnn.”

You are probably thinking that I give our two year old way to much credit in the understanding department and I must admit that I had the same thoughts until this morning when I tried to trick her by re-wording the question.

Every morning we read her a story in our bed and this morning she came into our bed holding her favourite book. “Would you like me to read you a story?”
“No”
“No?”
“No”
“OK then would you like me to not read you a story?”
There was a slight pause while she thought about the appropriate answer.

“Yes! “she says with a big grin.

Little bugger got me again…..

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Emotional Blackmail

Posted on March 12, 2012 by James

Our daughter is again playing us like a fiddle with her most recent cry of “one more cuddle” from the night time cot. We generally put her to bed at around 7pm every night where she will play in her cot for an hour or so before drifting off to sleep.

Lately however things have started to happen in that one hour period that force us to go back into her room and reset.

First it was her foot. She kept getting it stuck in the small ‘nappy checking’ hole in her sleeping bag. I think it was by accident the first couple of times but after she discovered that it made us come back into her room it started to happen on a regular basis.

“Alright, no more foot.” we would say. “If it gets stuck again you will just have to live with it.”
“Foot, foot, foot.” she cried the next time but we did not go in. She kept it up for a while and then there was silence.

When we checked later we found her sleeping soundly with her foot sticking out of the sleeping bag. It obviously didn’t bother her that much and funnily enough it doesn’t seem to happen anymore? Curious.

Next it was her stuffed toy octopus ‘Octy’ who developed the unfortunate habit of falling out of the cot. “Octeeeeee” she would cry until we went in to return him to her loving arms.

This also went on for a couple of nights until I walked in on her helping ‘Octy’ to fall out of the cot. “Hmmnn,” I said. “Octy sure falls out of the cot a lot doesn’t he?”
“Yes” she replied sheepishly.
“He better be careful because if he falls out again he will just have to stay there till the morning.”
“Yes.”

Of course he fell out again but as promised we ignored the desperate cries to save him and she managed to fall asleep without him in the cot. He has since gained much better control of all of his limbs and subsequently hasn’t fallen out of the cot for ages.

Finally she has learnt that the best way to get us is through affection. “One more cuddle” is her new night time call and who wouldn’t want a final squeeze from their little bub.

It is pretty hard to ignore that plea and she knows it. We go in and give her a cuddle and then put her back to bed where she will usually settle down for the rest of the night.

So our new night time routine for our bub is bed at 7pm followed by ‘one more cuddle’ at around 7.30pm. We both know that we are being played but it’s worth it to have our little one cling to us one last time before going off to sleep for the night.

We really are suckers….

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Kids Need Attention

Posted on March 9, 2012 by James

I know I get on my soapbox sometimes about stuff that I can really only speculate about and I also understand that all children are different, as are their parents and living situation. I do believe however that some things are universal, like the fact that kids need attention.

I love to watch the interaction of parents and their kids and one thing I can say for certain is how kids absolutely shine when their parents give them their full, undivided attention.

I was in a coffee shop the other day when a small boy of about 5 years old came in with his Dad. Granted that I don’t know the full circumstance of this duo only that they are Father and Son and they are out together alone.

They both sat down and ordered and the boy was telling his Dad some kind of story and Dad was giving the little guy his full attention.

The body language was amazing. They were sitting opposite each other and the boy was carefully describing something, using enthusiastic hand gestures and animated facial expressions.

Every now and then he would steal a look up to see that Dad was still paying attention whereby he would get another burst of enthusiasm to help him continue on.  At the end of the telling they both looked at each other and laughed and it was a lovely moment. (Yes, I know that I am soft!)

Anyhow they continued talking and not long after as the boy was talking Dad’s phone rang. Without saying anything to his son the father answered it. I could not only see the disappointment on the kids face but I saw him physically slump in his chair.

As the phone conversation went on longer and longer the boy looked more and more upset. The boy even tried to get his Dad’s attention on a couple of occasions but was totally ignored. Dad did not even look at him once through the entire conversation.

When the phone call was over there was a completely different atmosphere between the two of them. The boy seemed a little cool and sulky toward Dad.

They finished their drinks in stilted conversation, paid the bill and then left with the boy dragging his feet. Dad had a look on his face as if to say “Why is my kid acting like a turd?”

I know that there are a hell of a lot of presumptions on my behalf as I can’t possibly know all that I claim to have gleaned from the observations of these two people. My heart however tells me that this kid is upset because he thinks that his Dad’s phone is more important to him than he is.

Looking at it as an outsider I would have to say that the kid appears to have a point. It can be justified in many ways but the at the end of the day the child knows that he can’t interrupt the phone conversation but the phone can interrupt him.

Statistics show that the average father spends less than one hour per day alone with their child. Only one hour! If that is the case then surely we can give these flowering little souls the sunshine and fertilizer that our full attention provides for that small amount of time.

Is that phone call really more important…?

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