I always try to make a point of telling my daughter that I love her even when I am cranky with her.
I think that it is important she knows the difference between being loved and being in trouble for doing the wrong thing.
Whenever she pushes the boundaries a little too hard and needs to be pulled back into line everything gets all serious and quiet all of a sudden.
“Are you happy daddy? she asked
“No”
“Why aren’t you happy daddy?”
“I’m not happy because you…
…scratched my face
…hurled your cup
…put stickers on the fridge
…tore down the blinds
…broke the chair
…crayoned the wall
…smashed the window
….(insert your own)
“Oh” she says
“I love you, but this kind of behaviour in unacceptable (I love super nanny!) and it makes me sad and cranky when you do this.”
“I’m sorry Daddy – I won’t do it again”
“That’s OK – I hope not.”
And on we go until the next episode. I can only hope that it goes in to her little head and if
nothing else it helps me to stay calm and in control of the situation. It is pretty difficult
to be aggressive and threatening when saying “I love you.”
Today she was acting up before her daytime nap. She always knows when she is doing the wrong thing and it does not take her too long to ask “Are you happy daddy?”
I didn’t feel like getting into a lecture situation today so I just said with a sigh “I love
you”. She looked at me with such seriousness and to my complete surprise and joy said …
“Daddy, I know you always love me, but are you cranky with me?”
If that is the only thing that I teach her then I will be one happy dad.
Hi,
This article absolutely melted my heart!! If she takes nothing else out of that but the fact that you always love her, you have done done your duty as a parent. She is a lucky little mite to have a father like you. I only wish all kids were that lucky…
Really like the website, full of useful resources.
Cheers!!
this is so sweet! really important to distinguish the difference for them.
your daughter is a lucky little girl. 🙂